i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
