Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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