he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
