i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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