Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
