Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
