that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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