You're so nebulous sometimes
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
