So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
