I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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