my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
