Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize