i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize