i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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