No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
