dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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