I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
