i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
