Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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