My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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