while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
