Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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