Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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