my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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