so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
