how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
