i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
