I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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