I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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