I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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