Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
