Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I will be naked everywhere
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
