K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The power of my boobs compel you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
