That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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