I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
