did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
