fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize