I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
