hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The air was thick with penises
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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