It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
