my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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