I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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