The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
