State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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