Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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