and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I want is dick and wine.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
