Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize