ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
