I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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