This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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