ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sext me about skeletons
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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