I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize