You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
