i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
