She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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