Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I forget how to act sober
Randomize