I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
