At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
