i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
