That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
