a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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