Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
