Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
