I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
